Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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