you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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