Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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