I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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