I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
