I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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