Small penises have feelings too.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize