AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
