Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
pop tarts are not kleenex
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
