ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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