Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
