I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
