He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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