You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize