you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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