if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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