when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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