Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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