Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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