Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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