Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
