ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
