my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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