Dual....:-)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
