Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
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took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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