we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
