She's JV to your varsity
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
