You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
