is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
