you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
