Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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