Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.