we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
