so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
