Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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