fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
