They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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