i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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