i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
