i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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