Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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