Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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