Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
