I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
