omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
