I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
