all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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