Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
