He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Say something about gay babies.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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