If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
