Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
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he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Ladies don't puke and tell
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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