I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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