I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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