I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize